Thursday, April 8, 2010

Love Makes Your Soul Crawl Out From its Hiding Space - Zora Neale Hurston

How many of you thought you would have the loveliest kinks, coils, and curls after going natural? Well I did. I thought that by ditching the relaxer 10 years ago, that I would then be left with a perfectly curly coif. So not the case. My NATURAL hair is a very loose wave with a kinky texture [similar to yaki hair], this is the way it grows out of my scalp, and once in a while if I am lucky, I will get a curl.

I don't fall into the traditional hair typing box. My hair in it's most natural state resembles a light blowout. Not a single curl in sight. That's pretty disheartening when most of my curlspirations have....curls, and honestly it has been pretty difficult embracing my natural hair as of late.

Part of me wanting to "go natural" was to be able to be FREE! And now I find myself lusting after curls I will probably never attain. Yet still, I spend my hard earned money on puddings, custards, and gels; on the search for anything and everything that says "curl defining" or hell, anything that says the word curl. Only to be disappointed that my hair didn't turn out like the curly on LHCF or some random model I came across on Google.

I think I have pretty much had it at this point, my quest for the perfect curly hair has pretty much taken the fun out of being natural, as I have pretty much substituted my pressing comb for a curl cream. - No I am not relaxing, or pressing; but I am done trying to achieve the perfect curl [whatever that is]. I am going back to basics, and making it what it should be about, and that is having healthy hair, and feeling good about my God-given beauty.

For everyone out there who is beginning their natural hair journey, or even thinking about going natural. Remember to embrace what YOU have. It's lovely to admire other curly girls, but trying to duplicate another head of hair will surely cause frustration. As no two heads are alike!

Sorry for the long winded rant!!! I ordered a ton of products this week for reviews, so I will be experimenting this weekend with twists/braidouts, and of course doing more videos. I was going to order Ohm Sweet Body Pudding until I realized that shipping was $9.00, a bit obsessive no? Considering the pudding is already $15.99...



  1. The "rant" was greatly needed ! I've been natural for about 5 years and I think I'm just beginning to truly love my tightly coiled thick hair ! I wanted the same curly curls that you talked about especially after looking at Janelle Monae's hair...thinking "WOW I wish my hair looked like that !" It's the same thing with body image. The marketing companies stuff our minds with images of what our hair, skin, body, clothes and so on should look like for $. We end up collectively spending billions of dollars in the hair industry trying to achieve a look that wasn't genetically meant for us to have. We are all made in the image and after the likeness of God. I think it's so cool that He didn't give us all the same kind of hair in texture ,color, and protein structure. Shoot I'm sure there are some curly curl girls that wish their hair could hold a style longer. We all just need to LOVE ourselves and our tresses too :)

  2. Dear MTM,

    I understand how you feel. I have the same issues. I have a family full of long-haired curlies with bouncy coils. The ones who aren't born with an obvious coily springy pattern get a relaxer in the teen years, but they end up with long locs. Imagine how it is to be the one who ended up with the kinkier hair (some patches are 4c--oh my!). I have always had pretty thick longish hair (not as long as the rest of the fam). Many people commented on how long and beautiful my hair was, but I didn't have hair like my aunts etc, so I never appreciated it. After 10 years of perms (11-21). I went natural, I expected curls and I was dissapointed... so i texlaxed...even worse! The tex-lax dried my hair terribly! Now it's back on the natural track. I love your hair, I think we may be hair twins (if that matters). More importantly I love my hair. My new curly journey is teaching me to style and CARE for hair. Your tutorials are awesome. Though I lust after curl, I think I just want long, thick, healthy hair (the hair of my past). What GOD gave me is what he gave me, how can I argue with my maker. I am beautiful. You are beautiful. We are all beautiful.


  3. Vent Girlfriend, vent. There are so many products out there that if you are not careful you would go broke trying to achieve the best look for your kinky-curly hair. There are so many people that would say do not use grease, but yet for years I have been using grease in my from the time I was a little girl and has never had any split ends.

    Moptopmaven, love your hair it is beautiful and trust me do not go broke. I have 3 girls and all have different hair types and I spend about over $1000.00 in one year for hair products ranging from shampoo, conditioner, pudding, mositurizers etc.. you name it for our hair. Thank God I have a job or else we would have to go the old fashion way.

    I love your hair b/c you and I have the same texture full of life and healthy. God Bless :)

  4. I can so understand your rant.. you are one of my hairspiration.. the long, thickness and healthy hair is what i'm after... My hair only seems "curly" when its wet... but don't forget the shrinkage when water touches it.. i look like i just cut it all off..(near shoulder length stretched) What i try to do invent "styles" that encourage healthy hair as well as works for my cotton/cloud texture strands.

  5. Great rant! So many struggle with this. I'm glad you've come to a place that you now aren't trying to make hair be something its not other than itself. :D It's important we luv our hair for what it is and not "lust" after anything different.

  6. Honestly, I'd be happy if when I'm done transitioning and when I've done the big chop, my hair turns out like your's. I think it looks beautiful, big and healthy.

  7. Hey!
    I should have saved my long comment the other day for today! Your post describes exactly what I am going through. Luckily, there is SOOOO much support in the natural world that I am able to begin the process of fully, and happily excepting what's growing out of my head and focus on spending my energy learning how to manipulate my crazy texture. Thanks! And by the way, your hair is fabulous!

  8. Hi,

    Thanks for the post. I've been transitioning for about 13 months. Just yesterday I was in the mirror smoothing and moisturizing my hair, at the same time, asking myself "why isn't my NG curlier?" So again, thanks for the post because I really needed to hear "love what you have".

  9. That rant was sooo needed! I have taken a break from everything hair lately. After a SERIOUS break down a few weeks back. After 1yr and 6 months of transitioning, I am officially over it. I haven't done a youtube video in weeks. No I won't be relaxing again, but I'm burned out. I have always had strange textured hair. My whole head is curly, but the front section has straight pieces. I don't know is its leftover relaxer, heat damage, or just the texture of that section. But when I do braid out, I put soft rollers on the end, and I get great results. My problem is my hair is toooo thick, dry and tooo puffy! I HATE IT. My styles are great the first hour, after that is one BIG mess.... But thanks for this post, I feel less alone. Lol........ Nita.

  10. @zak attack Tell me about it!! I wanted the whole Janelle Monet thing too...and no matter what I just wasn't happ'nin'! I completely agree with your entire comment, it is that need/want to have something other than what we are genetically inclined to have; that fuels some of our spending habits.

    @Anonymous Thank you very much! You are right! How can we argue with our maker when he made each and everyone of us PERFECT? Many times I thought about telaxing, but I talked myself out of it. Thanks for the support!!

    @negesti7 Thank You!!!!!!! Thank you, thank you! The support is truly appreciated...and I am definitely going back to basics!

    @τreciä Thank you!! And tell me about it! I have a head full of curls when I have loads of shampoo in it. Then POOF they disappear! WTH?

    @Thank you Milan!! You are totally right, we definitely need to love our hair as-is. I wish I would have come to that resolution earlier...but ah well..such as life!

    @brunettefury Thank you for the compliment!

    @Anonymous Thank you!!! We were both feeling the same way at the same time! And yes, there is TONS of support in the natural community, which I love...crazy because I thought I was the only one who felt this way!

    @Ms. Harmony No problem! I have had those moments too, I thought ALL hair in it's natural state would be curly. Apparently I was wrong. LOL Definitely love what you have! Make it work, the better you feel about it, the more confidence you will exude.

    @Nita Awww Nita! I feel your pain. I really do. Sometimes it is good to just take a break, and recharge...we need that from time to time so we don't experience burnout. Try some Aveda Damage Remedy Conditioner...will silk out the roughest of rough!

  11. have you tried the tightly curly method??? i have hair lik urs in the front and 3b 4a hair every where else so its really hard to blend without doing a twist put or braid out. im now doing the tightly curly method & although it takes awhile its worth it it really makes my curls pop in the front jus by finger twisting/twirling them

  12. Yes, I must strongly advise the tightly curly method. If your hair is curly when it has shampoo in it, then you should try to load it with conditioner, without touching the scalp. You saturate your hair in sections using much mure conditioner than you would, and a a final step you can add gel. Then you let it air dry for one full day without touching it and without being afraid of the crunch (it will disappear once fully dry).

    At night, you pineapple.

    The gel also acts as a sealant and you end up not having to moisturize for 3 days or more.

    I just love this method.


  13. @beautifuldisaster & Anonymous I haven't!! I have actually never heard of the technique until now. I will definitely look into that [as a matter of fact my next stop is YouTube!].

    Thank you guys for turning me on to this, hopefully it works!!!! I will try it this weekend and let you know how it turns out.

  14. I wanted Noemi Lenoir's curls stat! But then I realized that took a bit more patience than I was used to and a twist and set strategy unlike any I had seen before.

    I think that is important for naturals to know before they take the plunge. Naturals should transition as long as they need to in order for their locks to be what they want. And even then, you may have to "do stuff" to your hair to make it look a certain way!

    The devil is in the details I guess!


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