Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Knocks Me Off My Feet


I see us in the park //
Strolling the summer days of imaginings in my head //
And words from our hearts //
Told only to the wind felt even without being said //
I don't want to bore you with my trouble //
But there's somethin' bout your love //
That makes me weak and //
Knocks me off my feet //

So this is the camisole, and leather skirt that I thrifted [you may recall seeing the pics in this post] this past weekend. -

Cami: Thrifted
High Waist Leather Skirt: Thrifted
Bracelets: Forever 21
Necklace: DIY
Ring: Picnic [San Francisco]
Bow: LF Stores
Socks: American Apparel
Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell
---------------------------------------------------------

There is one thing I noticed after starting this blog, and that is the amount of married women that comment on my posts. Oddly enough; the readers on my blog comprise most [if not all] of the married women I know. - I started to wonder if living in the suburbs breeds more of a monogamous attitude vs city living.

I have a dear friend who is a single mother of two, and a few years ago she uprooted her family and moved to a small city in Texas. One of the motivating factors was her urge to settle down and get married. She felt that she would be single as long as she stayed and L.A, so on a whim, she left. Six months later that very same friend met her future husband. And so the story goes..they lived happily ever after.

What is it about those smaller cities? Is there more pressure to fall in line, have children and get married? Is it that there is less to do, less opportunities, less "options"? I am interested on hearing your thoughts on this.

12 comments:

  1. I would definitely say that there a little more pressure to get married and have children when you are in a smaller town... I think that people go to big cities to chase their dreams and "live the life". . .

    Especially here in the southeast you will see a lot of young mothers, married, pregnant again, living the country life (well suburban I guess is a better term). In bigger cities there are way more opportunities as well as people.. I'm sure people settle down a lot later.

    You look great! Love your thrifted top and skirt.

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  3. I would like to say I like you blog but im single and currently living in another country, I was especially drawn to your blog for the fact that you were young but older than me, that just means I needed something to read that has substance, value, and content that doesnt wreak of 'immaturity' your blog is definitely relatable on various levels so thats my take on that.

    As for the way of life im originally from Cali, but moved for college to ATL back when ATL was the dirty south not the black hollywood it is present day! Anyway I hope to not offend anyone but I feel as though LA can take the best out of people...its a very superficial, plastic, I have to look perfect kind of mentatlity. I very much dislike LA, but different strokes for different folks. The freinds that I have that stayed in LA are all single chasing these so called elite men but end up being dumped for the next hot thang!I have a few friends that live in suburb areas and some of them have BF's, some are single, and some are married.

    So at the end of the day it is my opinion that the things you deeply want like finding a boyfriend or a husband depends on the sacrifices you have made to attain those goals and it depends on if you are mentally/physically ready to recieve those blessings!

    -sorry for writing a book but its how I felt

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  4. YOU'RE KIDDING ME

    I just bought those shoes at Urban this past Sunday!

    They are so comfortable and I got tons of compliments on them at work!

    Your outfit is adorable and all hail thrift stores!

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  5. Those shoes look great on you!

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  6. I think that suburbs offer a more relaxed lifestyle and when you find wanting a family on your list of priorities, you want to make sure you have a house, yard for the kids to play, safe neighborhood, school system, etc... I think it just comes along with the territory. When you're newly married, it's nice to live the city life, but at some point you find yourself wanting a more relaxed surrounding. It's nice to enjoy the benefits of the city and then retreat to your suburban retreat.

    My husband and I lived in Chicago, but due to him being in the Air Force we're all over the place. While I miss the conveniences of the city, I'm over the constant hustle and bustle. I was able to keep my big city job (publishing company) and work from home now... and that was probably the last major thing hooking me into the downtown lifestyle.... just the access and convenience of it all.

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  7. Hi Nicole, I found your blog not too long ago and like checking in to see what's new. I am much older than you but like to consider myself still "fly" so i see what the young girls are doing and do that....telling you all this to get to my point about your question...I have lived in Oklahoma City (suburban part), Carrollton Texas (suburb of Dallas), Los Angeles, and now Westlake Village (near Thousand Oaks) (suburb again). I find that suburbs are more conducive to the married lifestyle. There are less people, less "options, less everything which gives you quality time to focus on family/husband/children/self. When you live in the city there are so many things to do that sometimes the family thing can take a back seat for a while and then a while becomes a looooong while. The city does have an affect on men and women. Men in the suburbs are going to be more "ready to marry" or commit because that's what people do in the suburbs. It is not only a location but a lifestyle. You will stand out like a sore thumb (or floozy) if you carry yourself in a suburb the way you might carry on in the city. I don't see anything wrong with meeting a guy in the city and then moving to a suburb when you're both ready to get serious about settling down together. or moving to a suburb to meet a guy that may be ready to settle down. He may have moved there for the same reason. From my experience and what I've seen (I am 44) it's best to live in the suburbs if you want to stay married. You will have more quality time to devote to your husband/children which will help keep the family together. You will have more people around you doing the same thing. Your friend was smart and courageous to move out of L.A. to find a husband. I have been married twice. Lived in L.A. with both husbands. Will probably never live in L.A. again. I love the suburbs. Have a nice BF that I spend alot of time with out here because guess what? there is not much else to do! But how bad is that? I have him all to myself! I don't have to share him with all the friends and social gatherings in the city. So it's really about what you are ready for. Both are nice (city and suburbs) in their own right time.

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  8. Nice point. I believe your attention gets caught more often by different factors depending on the context. In a small town you live your very long relationships with people, or you cultivate yourself in a more isolated state, unless that friend likes cooking just like you, painting just life you or reading your stuff. And when you meet people you take your time in some way, relationships are forced to develope.

    In a big city, you get lost and get stimulated by the unknown and can share more of your hobbies with more people, being single feels different and everything goes faster. There are more things to see, to buy, to try, more people to know, the attention lapse is shorter and the possibilities spectrum feels larger, in a good or in a bad way as things are only potential unless you allow them to develope.

    I love this photo shoot. The landscape and bow give it a grown up Alice in wonderland taste.

    Laura

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  9. Thank you everyone for giving me your perspective on singledom in the city! You all made some pretty good points, and clarified a lot for me. Being that I am a big city girl, I was never able to understand why my suburbia chick's made it to the alter faster than us. It makes total sense, and apparently I am going to need to move to a small town!!! LOL

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  10. Love is where you find it. Whether a person lives in L.A. Or middle America. L.A. Is not fake it's the people that move to L.A. From small towns that are thirsty for their 15 minutes of fame that are fake. Plastic people are in L.A.,ATL,NYC,Miami and every other city. I travel everywhere and have a real perspective.

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  11. Wow its funny that you metion this from my parents moving me from NY to MIA which I hated from day 1.. I think their is a big difference from a smaller city as oppose to LA/MIA/NY like someone metion above when you live in cities like I metion above there's too much people to chose from than to just want to settle down with one I am tired of the BIG city life once I graduate me and my daughter are moving elsewhere VA or NC would definetly be a change of scenary

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