Friday, October 29, 2010

The First Step To Finding Your Passion: Reconnect With Yourself & Lower The Emotional Stakes


One of the main reasons we tend to get disappointed when trying to carve out our life path is because the stakes are too high emotionally. We feel as though our happiness, success, and wealth is riding on each venture, and we are hellbent on it leading to our ultimate goal. 

When you find yourself at the crossroads of life, take some time to regain a centered, balanced connection with yourself. This means letting go of your attachment to finding answers at that very moment, and instead, embarking on a spiritual journey of discovery and play. 

To reconnect with ones true self is to shed our pseudo-identity, and end the people-pleasing behavior. We need to tear down our false fronts, so that we can get down to our truest, most honest, child-like selves. You will heal once you confront your fears, imperfections, mistakes, pant size, latent anger, grief, joy and heartbreaks instead of letting them define you. 

Why do I need to get in touch with my inner child? 
As we grow older we tend to let life experiences shape our decisions. We become less spontaneous and more calculated, less playful and more reserved, we exhibit less passion and exude more of an automatic, slightly robotic state of being. We are afraid of risks. It is through getting in touch with our inner child that we can begin to take risks, and make the necessary mistakes in order to truly evolve into the person we are meant to be.

In order to reconnect with self, you must discover and commit to living by your values:
A simple way to discover your values is to ask questions about important aspects of your life. Often when we feel our values are compromised or disregarded, we feel disconnected from our clear, true self. It is that feeling of disconnection that breeds a feeling of suppression, a lack of inner direction, and insecurity.  

Writing Activity:
In a journal or simple notepad, answer the questions below to the best of your ability. Once you have answered all questions, you must then make a conscious effort to start living according to your values. This means getting comfortable with saying no to others. For those that have an exceptionally hard time saying no, you can still decline; yet offer an alternative solution that is still within your boundaries.
  • Am I true to myself, or do I try to please others as a mother, employee, sister, wife, friend, girlfriend, fiance, student, etc?
  • How do I compromise myself when playing out various roles? 
  • Take yourself back to one of the happiest moments in your life. What values were being honored at that time?  
  • How do I censor myself in everyday life? 
  • What do I want to contribute to this world?
  • What do I want to receive in return? 
  • What makes me feel fulfilled? 
Purpose:
To discover your core needs. In discovering these needs, you will create stability, self-fulfillment, security, self-confidence, and build character; while setting healthy boundaries for those around you.

Discovery Task: 
Pick one of your favorite hobbies. Engage in this hobby once a week [for at least one month] for about an hour. 
Optional: You can make a list of your favorite hobbies and decide to do one hobby a week for a month. 
Ideas:
Reading books at your favorite book store
Photography
Doing a weekly manicure or pedicure
Gardening
Trying new recipes weekly
Biking 
Scrapbooking
Working on a family tree
 
Purpose: 
To create a healthy diversion with low emotional stakes. To learn how to engage in an activity without expecting a monetary reward or the praise of others. Engaging in an activity you find enjoyable is also a form of active meditation. Active meditation means that you are completely involved in your current activity, yet your mind is capable of recalling inspiration subconsciously. 

Participating in a Discovery Task will also help you reconnect with your inner child-like spirit. In reconnecting with that energy, you will learn how to embrace basic fundamentals like creativity, self-understanding, curiosity, invention, and imagination; which you can later infuse into other aspects of your life. 

Discovery tasks can also help foster creative energy and talents we sometimes tend to abandon as we grow older. Starting this blog was a discovery task for me. It has been a major outlet, while teaching me a lot about myself, and opening up a world of possibilities I never knew existed. Never underestimate the power of play. 

Until next week my friends :-)



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17 comments:

  1. Girrrrl, Im so going to take it back to school and do this homework assignment. personally i have lost a certain connection with myself and tend to focus on pleasing others. You truly do lose yourself in the process and others will naturally disappoint you.

    Thanks for this series, im staying tuned in!

    ~L~
    Check out my Style Blog

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  2. I THINK THIS IS YOUR PASSION.
    WHAT DO YOU THINK!? YOUR SO GOOD @ IT!!
    I LOVE WHAT I DO. I STARTED MY OWN "LITTLE" BIZ THAT I DO FROM HOME SO THAT I COULD ALSO RAISE MY THREE CHILDREN.I THINK ITS VERY IMPORTANT TO RAISE YOUR OWN CHILDREN.I AM VERY HAPPY WITH WHO I HAVE BECOME @ THE AGE OF 28.

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  3. Wise words from a smart woman ~ thanks for sharing

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  4. This is a very thought provoking post. ITA, as we become older we definitely allow our past experiences influence decisions as well as our values. We must be willing to become more open to change and take risks in order to evolve and discover our purpose. Thanks for sharing. Lovely!!!

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  5. Thanks, lady! I definitely plan to do this exercise over the weekend. I'm noticing that the older I get, the less appealing it becomes to live to please others. Besides, the people who really matter want to know the real you anyway, not a facade.

    Thanks again!

    Kendra
    http://closetconfections.com

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  6. I agree soooo much with reconnecting with your inner child.... Imagination runs rampant and is not afraid to exist when you embrace your inner child. Love this post!

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  7. Thanks so much...this was truly needed

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  8. What a great way to put it, "lowering the emotional stakes..." That's such an apt description of how to get out of your own way. Thanks!

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  9. As I grow closer to my 30s I'm making a conscious effort to be more in tune with who I am. Thanks for sharing. I love writing too, I woke up out of my sleep and wrote a post about the New Modern Woman, which came to me in my dreams just today. We all have passions and once they are found, you will find that you are now truly living.

    www.lipstickmanual.blogspot.com

    I am going to do this Discovery task as well ;0)

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  10. This was distgustingly Awesome....wow...I think that is what Im gonna read everyday until my true inner child surfaces again. I have been feeling disconnected for awhile. Thanks Mop Top Maven...Really.

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  11. I love this post. And you're so right. Especially with us women, we can tend to get lost in our relationships with others and completely lose the person God created us to be. I've found that in returning to Him, my Creator, I can truly find out why I'm here and what I was put here to do.

    God bless you for seeking the answer to a question that everyone is constantly asking.

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  12. I completed the writing activity and I'm sure I'll be revisiting it over the next few weeks again. What I realized is that I'm not so much a people-pleaser but more of someone who wants to impress others. It's not necessarily a bad thing to present your best self, but I have to find that place where I can freely let my guard down and not portray myself to be something I'm not.

    I also decided to pick back up dancing which is my #1 hobby. I stopped a month ago because my local class got cancelled which now I realize is an excuse I created for myself. So, off I go to find another class and get back to my happy place.

    Thanks for this amazing and inspirational post!

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  13. What about if you dont even know what you really are passionate about? Where do you start?

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